Joke

Internet jokes

1. What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
2. Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bu...
3. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash, slash, backslash, slash,...
4. Can you show me how to use the Internet? I'd better - otherwise you'll just...
5. Do you want some help using the Internet, son? No thanks, Dad, I can muck it ...
6. Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling of...
7. How do you find white shirts on the Internet? Use a starch engine.
8. How does the vicar explore the Internet? With the church mouse.
9. I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on the internet... Yes - and it's...
10. I hope you're not one of those pupils who spends all day on the Net and does...
11. I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my m...
12. I see you've got your bill for using the Internet Yes, and my dad's really ...
13. I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? ...
14. Since you've discovered the Internet, you don't pay any attention to me! Wh...
15. So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even ...
16. Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your ho...
17. Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Intern...
18. What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything ...
19. Where does the Internet football team play? Webley.
20. Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? Because they can't stop saving...
21. Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all...
22. You're a big Internet fan aren't you? Yes - it's becoming a habit!
23. You're a big internet fan, arn't you? Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!
24. Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive? Pupil: ...
25. Where's Spiderman's home page? On the world wide web.
26. Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up ...
27. Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? They never want to log off....
28. Why was the skeleton using the Internet? To bone up on his schoolwork.
29. What's the best city to search the World Wide Web in? Rome.
30. Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet? Click Whittington
31. Who is the oldest singer on the Internet? Click Jagger.
32. Who writes hit musicals on the Internet? Andrew Lloyd Webber.
33. What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet? Oh...
34. What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet? The Site-anic....
35. What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted cli...
36. What do you put in a www.ashing machine? Net curtains!
37. What grows on the World Wide Web and stings? Internettles.
38. What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet? P.Cs of eight, P.Cs o...
39. What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet? If at fir...
40. Did you know pillows have their own website? Really? Well you could knock m...
41. Did you like www.flower.com? Not at first....but it grew on me!
42. How did the flea learn to use the internet? He had to start from scratch.
43. Have you got the address of the butter website? Yes, but don't spread it ar...
44. I can't find a shark website.... That's cos you're dum dum, dum dum, dum dum,...
45. If doors have a website shouldn't windows have one too? We'd better, or it ...
46. Our website should have more colour, more games, more sound! Look, what mor...
47. What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website.... Hyp, Hyp Hooray....
48. What did the maths homework website say to the geometry website? Boy do we ...
49. What did you think of our website? A little bit tacky.
50. What do builders use to make websites? Com.crete.
51. Where is Pinocchio's website? On the splinternet.
52. Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King.
53. Who runs the 100 acre wood website? www.innie the pooh.
54. Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark.
55. Why do you keep going back to that fishing website? I can't help it, I'm ho...
56. You need to log on to the window repair website! I did - but it gave me a p...
57. I spent the whole evening knotsurfing! Don't you mean netsurfing? No, everyo...
58. How do nuns surf the web? On the Hymnternet.
59. How are you getting on with the Internet? Surf far, so good.
60. My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent...
61. Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet, y...
62. What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing? The goalkeeper kicked h...
63. What surfs the Internet and goes, 'Choo, Choo'? Thomas the Search Engine.
64. What's hairy, dangerous and only surfs the Net when there's a full moon? Th...
65. Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road surfing the Net? The www.izard...
66. Who surfs the Net by pecking at the keyboard? www.oody www.oodpecker.
67. Why are elephants no good at Net surfing? Because they're scared of the mouse...
68. Does your dog know how how to surf the internet? No - but he's got a ruff i...
69. Why are frogs no good at websurfing? Computers have them toad-ily confused.
70. Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet? Because whenever his parents...
71. Why was Cinderella able to surf the web? Because he footman turned into a mou...
72. Do you enjoy websurfing? No way! my mum warned me to stay away from the net!
73. Do you like surfing the net? Oh yes, I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon...
74. How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet.
75. Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com? No, I'll ketchup with it later.
76. Have you seen www.topsecret.com? If I have, I'm not going to tell you.
77. Have you seen www.usedmatch.com? Yes, but I didn't find it striking.
78. Have you seen www.veryangry.com? No, AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!
79. Have you seen www.yawn.com? Yes, but I'm a bit tired of it.
80. Have you heard that there's a new mountain website? Really? I must take a p...
81. Have you seen www.hook.com? Yes, it's already caught my eye.
82. Have you seen www.indecisive.com? Yes and no.
83. Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com? Yes, but I found it very difficult to get i...
84. Have you seen www.needleinahaystack.com? Yes, but it took ages to find.
85. Have you seen www.pitchdark.com? Yes, but I really couldn't see what all the ...
86. Have you seen www.quasimodo.com? I'm not sure, but certainly rings a bell.
87. Have you seen www.quicksand.com? Yes, but it hasn't sunk in yet.
88. Have you seen www.shelterfromtherain.com? Yes, but it doesn't really stand ...
89. Have you seen www.smallearthquake.com? Yes, its's no great shakes!
90. Have you seen www.square.com? No, I haven't got around to it.
91. Have you seen www.amnesia.com? Sorry, I just can't remember.
92. Have you seen www.apathy.com? No, and quite honestly I can't be bothered.
93. Have you seen www.blottingpaper.com? Yes, I found it very absorbing.
94. Have you seen www.boomerang .com? Yes, I return to it again and again.
95. Have you seen www.brokenglass.com? Yes, but it's not all it's cracked up to...
96. Have you seen www.busfull.com? No, I'm afraid that one passed me by.
97. Have you seen www.dustbin.com? Yes, but it's a load of rubbish.
98. Have you seen www.stickytape.com? Yes, I can't tear myself away.
99. Have you seen www.tame.com? Yes, but I'm not wild about it.
100. What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.
101. What sits in the middle of the world wide web ? A very, very big spider !
102. PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pup...
103. What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your com...
104. Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well, you do look a sit...
105. Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you sho...
106. Do you like web jokes? Yes - they're e-larious!
107. How do you fix a broken website? With stick e-tape.
108. How do you make rude noises on the Internet? With a whoop e-cushion.
109. What did Darth Vader say to the Internet? May the force e-with you.
110. What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? An e-mergency.
111. What do you call a ghost on the Internet? e-erie.
112. What do you call an Internet mystery? An e-nigma.
113. What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet? I don't know, b...
114. What goes round the middle of the Internet? The e-quator.
115. What has long ears, hops and likes websurfing? The e-aster bunny.
116. Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e ...
117. Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e-potter.
118. Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse.
119. Who writes all his plays on the Internet? Will-e. Shakespeare.
120. Who's the chief of the internet? E-ronimo!
121. What do internet football fans sing? E we go E we go, E we go!