Ghost jokes

1. How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in televi...
2. What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt.
3. What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak.
4. Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster.
5. Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard? He was the Chief In-Spectre.
6. What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook.
7. Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.
8. What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub? The landlor...
9. What is a ghost boxer called? A phantomweight.
10. What happened to the ghost who went to a party? He had a wail of a time.
11. Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
12. Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back ...
13. Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go ro...
14. A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a...
15. Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
16. What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.
17. What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks...
18. What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.
19. Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't...
20. What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in ...
21. What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping? Lazy bones.
22. Who said "Shiver me timbers!" on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew.
23. What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.
24. A butler came running into his important master's office. "Sir, sir, there...
25. Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgu...
26. Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.
27. Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough.
28. How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.
29. What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're...
30. What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.
31. When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul's Day
32. Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks...
33. What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.
34. Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.
35. Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake.
36. Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The gho...
37. One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own...
38. Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.
39. Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at ...
40. What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off ? Ban-she, ban-she !
41. This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.
42. Where would you take a ghost for lunch? Pizza Haunt!
43. Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That's when the ghosts do their sp...
44. Student l: "Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?" S...
45. What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!
46. What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich!
47. How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!
48. Why is a ghost like an empty house? Because there's no body there!
49. What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!
50. Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big-game haunter!
51. What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!
52. What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? They fasten the...
53. What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? "Don...
54. How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint? He gets pale as a sheet.
55. Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VII...
56. What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end.
57. Knock Knock Who's there ! Boo ! Boo who ? Just Boo ! I'm a ghost !
58. What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision!
59. What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.
60. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.
61. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
62. Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche? At a ghastly station.
63. What do ghosts like about riding horses? Ghoulloping.
64. When do ghosts usually appear? Just before someone screams.
65. What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror.
66. What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowe...
67. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers
68. What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?- They boo-kle th...