Answer me this jokes

1. What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?
2. Do steam rollers really roll steam?
3. Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and dr...
4. Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
5. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called ship-ment bu...
6. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
7. Do vampires get AIDS?
8. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
9. Does killing time damage eternity?
10. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to be...
11. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
12. What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?
13. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
14. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
15. How come wrong numbers are never busy?
16. How long will a floating point operation float?
17. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes - why c...
18. You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the pack...
19. If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
20. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
21. If CON is the opposite of PRO, is congress the opposite of progress?
22. If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom ...
23. How many weeks are there in a light year?
24. If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?
25. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
26. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
27. If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
30. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mine?
31. Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
32. What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
33. If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on ...
34. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the ...
35. Do fish get thirsty?
36. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
37. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
38. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your head-lights, w...
39. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
40. If all the nations in the world are in the debt, where did all the money go?...
41. Why do we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?
42. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
43. How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders ?
44. If the world is getting smaller, why do postal rates keep going up?
45. Consider one of the most perplexing questions of our time: Where do' solutio...
46. Don't you just hate the blatant materialism surrounding Christmas? And aren'...
47. If a word in a dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
48. If necessity is the mother of invention, why does so much unnecessary stuff ...
49. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the ...
50. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
51. Which of the Himalayas is the shortest?
52. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
53. If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bill...
54. Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such...
55. Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expens...
56. If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call it Fed UP?